somthing floats above my head. looming dark as if to be a rain cloud. and at the same time, bright and holding the potential for somthing great. 

but the fear takes hold once again. a knee jerk reaction, my animal instincs, the forseen thought of that same mistake. it seems almost ritualistic now. 

but could it be diffrent? lying on the floor. a slow melody. a euphoric haze of recovery from to much cold medicine.

somthing is diffrent. this time. but this time hasent even come yet. and that is were it all goes dark. do i enter this unknown abyss?

or should i just go out and buy a flashlight and a beer. like every saturday.