my friend andy is going back to afganastan on the 20th. "for the money". i worry for him. hes a very old friend(i met him at 5). we sat around and talked about climbing trees and playing with legos over a couple beers. it was nice. andy was always this funny goofy guy, and still is. but hearing him talk about what he dose was such a escape from the guy i thought i knew. he took so much pride in it. it feels wierd to say this, but im extreamly proud of my old friend.
in chi we got to make friends with two people from austin texas. they were here for the last month. they just left. and maby its because of all the other goodbys said this week. but i was very sad to see them go.
my dear friend kayla is moving to nashville this week. we have a complicated past, but we became great friends because of it. i got to watch her grow into an amazing woman. but her leaving champaign will have a huge impact on me(even though i left a year ago). she was a part of my champaign, my past that i hold so dear to me. i wish her all the luck in the world. and i hope her going away party(that im gonna miss) truly shows her just how much she is loved. the thought of it alone chokes me up.
and the last goodby this weekend was to champaign itself. going back and seeing all the change was a shock at first. the feeling of family is still there. but so much has changed i could not help but feel the place that was our safe-haven, our best kept secret, our own private clubhouse, my home. is gone. and im struggling to accept that. it is reduced to ghost's of memories. familiar sights that somehow lost their magic. we are now a memorial to the years that changed so many lives. walking blueprints, the "how to" of how the world shoud be, imprinted in our dna, our smiles, our memories.
the only comfort i can find, is that here, now, on chicago avenue i have a direct influence in recreating my former home. to love as i have ben loved in the past. and to not mourn a time come and gone. because it is not gone. it is me.
No comments:
Post a Comment