Saturday, December 15, 2007

put back together again......

last night my dear friends "headlights" played at the double door. and i must say they could not have rolled through town at a more perfect time. i had a particularly bad day yesterday. and with eyes closed and a smile from ear to ear, it was all gone. i dont know what it is about the songs they write. but to put it simply, they fix me.
about 2 summers ago my grandmother died. she was 97 and had ben in failing health for some time. this was a woman who took in my dad and uncle after their parents died, my dad was around 2 or 3 i think. she was actually their aunt. but they call her mom. her passing was not unexpected. it was like an exhale of breath heald a little to long. but still very sad.
about a week after her funeral i was trying to rember the way she would talk to us, and i couldn't. i could rember the way her house smelled, the taste of the stale marshmallows she would give me. i rember the day we were visiting her and the nurse said "shes more awake than usual today" and i knew at that moment it was the last time i would see her alive. and i was right.
i decided to go see headlights at the monkey that night. and during the song "it isn't easy to live that well" i closed my eyes. trying to escape the feeling of searching for a forgotten voice, and finding nothing but forgetable ones.
i dont know if it was the lyrics, the way erin looks like she will explode from happyness when she plays, or just simply the music. but my mind whent back to the day my parents and i got home and my grandmother was already in the house. and when my dad asked her how she got in because the door was locked. at 80 somthing years old she explained to us how she borrowed the neighbors ladder and climbed in through a window. and i could actually hear her telling the story. ever sense then headlights have held a special place in my heart.

all that to say, these kids do it right.

a perfect example of what happens when you put all your love, excitement, joy, sadness, friendships, life, into what you do. it changes people.

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