"rosemary: well...you pulled it off.

max: yea, it went ok...

...at least no body got hurt.

rosemary: except you.

max: na.......i didnt get hurt that bad."

as much as i like the writing in his other movies. the acting in rushmore is AMAZING, i never realized.

am i.m. conversation with my friend nathan.

Joshua
come party dude

we like to party

Nathan

because I like to party?... (Talledega Nights)

Joshua

yes!!!

Nathan

wait.

Joshua

i use that word to much

Nathan

i DO like to party

Joshua

i know

Nathan

you can not use the word YES too much

just as Kerourac

Joshua

god............party.party.party!!!!!

Nathan

oh.

that

yeah. you do

Joshua

i know

Nathan

I would substitute the YES for the word Party

Joshua

i told a lady the other day that we were out of bagels at the shop b/c "we like to party?"
best conversation ever

Nathan

as in... we like to YES?

see how you confused you can get people before they catch on

Joshua

party

party i do

Nathan

see i'll come over for the yes, Party?

Joshua

now youv got it!!!!

Nathan

i like where this is going

Joshua

me too

Nathan

next we'll switch the words "Existentialism" and "Dookie"

beautiful losers. a new film. i must see.


Beautiful Losers film trailer from beautifullosersfilm on Vimeo.

so....like, 8th post in 2 days.

great lighting storm tonight. and alot of rain.....................................................................

i just went downstairs to the first floor. water was pouring in under our front door. and water was cascading(sp?) (as if i care about spelling) down the stairs into the basement. we have about 8inches of standing water. amps, drums, detergent bottles floating around, alot of stuff. under water. no good. as i was walking around getting stuff off the floor. i look over and one of the amps was plugged into the wall, with the cord resting UNDER WATER. oops.......

its a bad scene.

srry no pictures, camera phone sucks.

hahahahahahaha

alot of saying goodby this weekend. 

my friend andy is going back to afganastan on the 20th. "for the money". i worry for him. hes a very old friend(i met him at 5).  we sat around and talked about climbing trees and playing with legos over a couple beers. it was nice. andy was always this funny goofy guy, and still is. but hearing him talk about what he dose was such a escape from the guy i thought i knew. he took so much pride in it. it feels wierd to say this, but im extreamly proud of my old friend.

in chi we got to make friends with two people from austin texas. they were here for the last month. they just left. and maby its because of all the other goodbys said this week. but i was very sad to see them go.

my dear friend kayla is moving to nashville this week. we have a complicated past, but we became great friends because of it. i got to watch her grow into an amazing woman. but her leaving champaign will have a huge impact on me(even though i left a year ago). she was a part of my champaign, my past that i hold so dear to me.  i wish her all the luck in the world. and i hope her going away party(that im gonna miss) truly shows her just how much she is loved. the thought of it alone chokes me up.

and the last goodby this weekend was to champaign itself. going back and seeing all the change was a shock at first. the feeling of family is still there. but so much has changed i could not help but feel the place that was our safe-haven, our best kept secret, our own private clubhouse, my home. is gone. and im struggling to accept that. it is reduced to ghost's of memories. familiar sights that somehow lost their magic. we are now a memorial to the years that changed so many lives. walking blueprints, the "how to" of how the world shoud be, imprinted in our dna, our smiles, our memories. 

the only comfort i can find, is that here, now, on chicago avenue i have a direct influence in recreating my former home. to love as i have ben loved in the past. and to not mourn a time come and gone. because it is not gone. it is me.

somthing floats above my head. looming dark as if to be a rain cloud. and at the same time, bright and holding the potential for somthing great. 

but the fear takes hold once again. a knee jerk reaction, my animal instincs, the forseen thought of that same mistake. it seems almost ritualistic now. 

but could it be diffrent? lying on the floor. a slow melody. a euphoric haze of recovery from to much cold medicine.

somthing is diffrent. this time. but this time hasent even come yet. and that is were it all goes dark. do i enter this unknown abyss?

or should i just go out and buy a flashlight and a beer. like every saturday.